In memory of Barry

This probably will not be an easy post to write or read. It's not one of those light, this is what our weekend consisted of, kind of posts. Last November, our family tragically lost my nephew suddenly. I have never written about this, but I really think that he is part of the reason that I blog now. Over the course of the past week or so, I have been thinking about him more and I felt like it was time to write some of my feelings down. I came across a couple of other blogs of moms that have lost children recently and it kind of hit home.

My nephew, Barry, was 15 years old and full of life. We had just seen him the day before at my sister's wedding. November 10th was such a happy day. Most of my family was in the wedding. Barry had grown a lot since I had seen him last. He was 6 foot tall. We didn't get a chance to talk a whole lot that weekend, but I'm glad that Josh got a chance to spend a little time with him. My only regret is not being able to say goodbye differently than I did. You see, my car got hit in the parking lot, and I had to break the news to my hubby over the phone, and I got pretty emotional. I had to drive all the way back to Charlotte in a wrecked car and so I kind of didn't say much of a goodbye to anyone that night.

I won't go into details of what surrounded Barry's passing (out of respect to my brother and his family). It's not important how you die, but how you lived your life while you were here. I wanted to take the time to remember some of the small things about Barry that touched my heart. His mom, dad, and sister knew him so much better than I did, and would have a lot more to add, but here goes. From the time he was so very little, he had the most beautiful, eye piercing blue eyes that you've ever seen. My son, Josh, loved to spend time with him whenever we came to Florence. Barry was exactly 4 years older than Josh. Barry gave Josh his skateboard a few years back. I was touched by his generosity. You see, this wasn't a $20 Target skateboard. Last year, shortly before his death, they were able to go skating together in Florence while we had Danielle's bridal shower. I'm glad they had that time together. Barry was also a self taught musician. He took the time to show Josh some things on the electric guitar. I guess he took after his dad with his natural music ability. I've had to work at it and study it. I remember the one time that Barry came with my mom to visit us in Charlotte. Barry talked to my mom so much (this is what my mom said) that mom got lost and was headed to the uptown Charlotte area. My mom had to call me for help in getting to our house:-) He taught Josh how to "wave board" a couple of years ago. Josh looked up to him. I know from seeing his friends at the funeral that they loved and looked up to him as well.

The pastor at the service said that we would never have all the answers. I've struggled some with the "whys". I guess that's a natural part of life. The verse that helped me through this time is at the bottom of my blog (Prov. 3:5-6). I've had to trust God even when I don't understand. I've had to seek him on behalf of my family. Joey and Paige, if you read this, please know that I am in prayer for you daily. Your son touched a lot of people's lives, including mine.